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Post by mlptfan on Apr 3, 2009 18:29:54 GMT -5
LOL, yes no rules, but also no heart. This was the most evil scene, made me emotional: "Dissection of one twin since they have two" Yeh, I supprisd myself there too, Evil, in 4 words. "And we have two." I like the way you have built several key characters, and they all have their moments! It's so MLPT!! |
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Post by kitsy on Apr 3, 2009 18:34:28 GMT -5
Wow, you works so fast, anyway it is so exciting. Thanks... Sorry, people keep asking me to write more  |
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Post by kitsy on Apr 3, 2009 18:46:12 GMT -5
Yeh, I supprisd myself there too, Evil, in 4 words. "And we have two." I like the way you have built several key characters, and they all have their moments! It's so MLPT!! Most times when I try with a fan fic i stay with one character as the keypoint or rotational, and sceens focus around that character, in this case its still keypoint characters" but alot more, and alot more groups to work with. Each group has its "leader" Starlight for example is always taking charge, so she emerged as the leader of the research team. While brightglow is sort of the leader for the rescue team currently that groups going to change back and forth a bit. Any sceen with the director in it, well. He just gets the camra automatically. Its just his personality... More and more I get this cross between Lex luther and David Xanatos <challange question, to see who remembers where Xanatos is from>. Had some fun with sceen changes... Choosing to change on a "word"... lancers boat kinda became a keypoint in it "Its not actually my boat its my dads, he just named it after me." And the boat has Flur du france on it too. |
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Post by Teddy on Apr 3, 2009 19:59:50 GMT -5
Already commented via email, but this story rocks!! Love all the science, and the lines like: "Yes, and there are TWO." Freakin' awesome.
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Post by kitsy on Apr 9, 2009 21:32:25 GMT -5
asunder 5
Martain had only been working at the docks for about a year now, but this was to big to resist, looking down at the 20 coins in his hand he hefted them lightly then looked at the teenage boy, "Oh yeh, this should not be a problem. We'll get her feuled and I'll check out the engine for you as well."
Lancer nodded slowly looking to Brightglow then back to the dockworker "Thank you, my dad would be upset if he knew I broke the boat. I don't know what happened, we lost all power for about 5 min out there."
"Could be the alternater, could be onboard generator, could be the DC converter. I'll take a look, I'll even get you a new French flag."
"Umm. Tank you. Sorry about coming into port unannounced." Lancer nodded once.
Brighteyes and Patch leaned against the rail looking out over the harbor, hundreds of boats sat mored to the docks or to boyes, "This place is huge, and there are so meny of them."
Patch nodded "I've never seen so meny boats before."
"I ment humans... Patch, I'm not even sure where we are going to start looking. This is just one city and its got to be 100 times bigger then even Shetland Mills." Brighteyes sighed at the size of the task ahead.
Lancer nodded once to Martain as he walked down the ships plank and hooked up external power and sewage lines then looked to Brightglow "Well the stone worked apparently, he saw me as just anouther human. But did you see his face when I handed him the jangles?"
Brightglow nodded "Apparently they are valuable, he took them without asking meny questions."
Lancer walked over to the girls and leaned against the rail too "Welcome to Miami, Florida, population about half a million humans."
Brighteyes blinked "half...a million... oh boy," sitting down on the deck she sighed, "what are we going to do."
"For now, rest, the port hand has set us up with power, sewage, cable, and internetlines." Lancer ganced to Brighteyes.
"Internet? Oh Lancer tell me you've got a computer on this boat."
"Of course, 3 of them actually, 2 laptops hooked to the boats main computer, the main computer helps with navigation, and onboard manigment."
Brighteyes smiled, "It might take some work to learn the writen language but I might be able to write a program to help, then we can find out more about humans and what we are up against."
Patch giggled "Great, while you do that I'll watch tv. See what I can learn there."
Brightglow came over joining the three "Wisom and creativity will be needed as well as a little time, but at least we are here."
* * * * *
Teddy stood beside Sweetheart, and checked her pack, Starglow and Happyglow looked to Dazzleglow who landed by them folding her wings tight to her side.
Ace nodded to to Teddy as he checked Bonn Bonn's pack, "Are you sure you packed enough food?"
"No, but I don't know how long we are going to be gone for, I had to bring a day or 2's food."
Starlight looked at the pack and blinked "For the group?"
"Well for myself but I can share."
Clover, Starlight, and Sweetheart all giggled, as Teddy and Ace looked at each other, Ace checked his own pack "I've got my camping supplies, ponyscout training helps out again."
Teddy taped Ace "Why do you have a fishing line in your pack? Its not like you could actually kill a fish."
"Oh thats fine, I'll just catch it, you can clean and cook it teddy."
Teddy blinked, "Well I, umm never did like the taste of fish."
"Are you all ready?" Dazzle glow asked.
After everyone nodded Dazzleglow reared up, horn glowing bright as a rift formed, a portal in the air shimmered, slowly into existance, a strong smell of ozone filling the air. The group looked at each other and slowly then headed through, crossing worlds.
* * * * *
*Ding* "You have mail"
Dr Mitchael blinked and walked over to his computer, "Give me a sec Jing-a-ling, Ting-a-ling." Looking down at the mail he blinked, then picked up the phone calling the director. "Sir, I just got an email saying to transfer the foals to the bio-examination labs, didn't you recive the report I sent, they are both intelligant."
The directors voice was cold and direct, "That may be so but they are still animals, I do not need any mistakes, the senit oversite representitives will be in tomorrow, and they pose a... Complication to the project. That will need to be delt with."
"Sir, there just foals. Scared and confused I don't see how they could..."
"Your not payed to see the big picture, mearly follow orders. A parrot can speek, do you expect to see a parrot reciving the same rights as a person."
"That's not the same thing, a parrot mimics speach as its trained to do..."
"And the report reads that these will mimic just like parrots."
"Thats not what i wrote sir."
"But, thats what it will read. Security will be over there shortly to pick them up. Have them both sedated and ready for transfer."
Dr Mitchael hung up the phone, and looked over at the twins.
"What wrong carl?" Jing-a-ling came over sitting infront of him.
"Yeh what wrong?" Ting-a-ling came over sitting beside her sister.
Looking down athe the foals he sighed, then looked at the computer, "This isn't right. How would you two like to go for a trip?"
Both the twins perked up "Yay! Trip, trip trip!"
"You'll both need to to be very very quiet." Looking around he headed over pulling a disposal cart over and picked them up one at a time "You two will need to stay very very still and quite... your hiding ok?"
"Like hide an seek, we good at that, we stay still." they both nodded laying down.
Looking around he carefully pushed the cart out into the hall, trying not to look out of place or suspicious, he moved down to the waste dispoal room, and exited the building, knowing this would probably be the last time he would ever be allowed in there.
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Post by kitsy on Apr 10, 2009 1:33:41 GMT -5
Sorry, its been a busy week, and I've been a little to tired to write.
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Post by mlptfan on Apr 10, 2009 5:23:12 GMT -5
Sorry, its been a busy week, and I've been a little to tired to write. ^__^ The story is getting better and better! We can wait. You need to rest to come up with more ^^ |
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Post by kitsy on Apr 10, 2009 6:55:45 GMT -5
Sorry, its been a busy week, and I've been a little to tired to write. ^__^ The story is getting better and better! We can wait. You need to rest to come up with more ^^ One thing I'm making sure I do withthe director... making sure he doesnt break any actual laws... Always love those villians that you know are evil... but cant do anything about. |
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Post by mlptfan on Apr 10, 2009 7:04:25 GMT -5
^__^ The story is getting better and better! We can wait. You need to rest to come up with more ^^ One thing I'm making sure I do withthe director... making sure he doesnt break any actual laws... Always love those villians that you know are evil... but cant do anything about. Yes the worst kind, sneaky, unbeatable  EDIT: Did I say I loved your story so far? I love it! |
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Post by kitsy on Apr 10, 2009 7:08:41 GMT -5
One thing I'm making sure I do withthe director... making sure he doesnt break any actual laws... Always love those villians that you know are evil... but cant do anything about. Yes the worst kind, sneaky, unbeatable EDIT: Did I say I loved your story so far? I love it! Yep you said you loved it They are "just" ponies, theres no laws that say they get any rights, aside from provention of cruelty, and that can be sidesteped under medical research. |
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Post by mlptfan on Apr 10, 2009 7:33:30 GMT -5
aside from provention of cruelty, and that can be sidesteped under medical research. You are so cold! lol. They are cute ponies! Cute! Not used for medical research! The only MLPT pony fit for medical research is Mr Tidwell XD |
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Post by kitsy on Apr 10, 2009 7:36:06 GMT -5
aside from provention of cruelty, and that can be sidesteped under medical research. You are so cold! lol. They are cute ponies! Cute! Not used for medical research! The only MLPT pony fit for medical research is Mr Tidwell XD Well guess thats why the Dr stole Ting and Jing. cuz he didnt want them disected,used for breeding, or worse... Forced to watch G3 Core 7. |
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Post by mlptfan on Apr 11, 2009 16:25:47 GMT -5
Dr Mitchael is nice. But who knows, maybe he wants to keep the twinettes for himself. I would! (hehe).
Let see, if the Dr has a private ranch to keep them, it would be awesome if the Director sent his military to burn down the place XD
So much exciting things can happen with this story! I can't wait for more *eats a carrot*
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Post by kitsy on Apr 11, 2009 17:05:05 GMT -5
Dr Mitchael is nice. But who knows, maybe he wants to keep the twinettes for himself. I would! (hehe). Let see, if the Dr has a private ranch to keep them, it would be awesome if the Director sent his military to burn down the place XD So much exciting things can happen with this story! I can't wait for more *eats a carrot* Now now, I wouldn't do that... That would be to nice... Wait and see what the director has in mind. |
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Post by kitsy on Apr 11, 2009 19:13:01 GMT -5
Asunder 6
Stardancer had just had her 12th birthday, she knew her mom and dad didn't like her out in the woods at night but sometimes she just needed to walk. She always got stir crazy in the cabin, both her mom and dad were earth ponies, but she was a unicorn like her grandmom, white body, red mane and tail, her flank mark a dancing slipper with 3 stars. While she liked dancing, it wasn't really her joy, not since her mom and dad started expecting it of her. She prefered simply running, simply having a chance to experiment, to explore.
Perking her ears Stardancer looked around, she new most of the ponies in the area, as well as the other creatures, but she didnt reconize the voices she heard. Quietly she moved off the path, and deeper into the woods, following the noise. The voices seemed to be teens her age or abouts, but she couldn't tell, some of the smaller ponies always sounded young to her.
"How did you eat a whole days of rations in an hour?"
"I was hungery, I'm sorry."
"Its ok Bonn Bonn, just be careful, we don't know when we'll find more food, and we don't know how far we have to travel." Starlight sat beside her hugging Bonn Bonn gently
Stardancer tilted her head staying hidden as best she could watching, the 3 strange girls, earth ponies, and 2 older pegasus lay partly around a fire, tents behind them.
"Scuze me, coming through." Teddy said walking past the unicorn holding a load of wood in his forlegs walking on his hind legs into the camp.
Stardancer screamed and stood backing up into ace, who was carrying his load of wood, sending them both to the ground.
"Teddy, what did you do?" Starlight asked looking up.
"Nothing, I said excuse me to Sweetheart and..." Teddy stoped mid sentence looking at Sweetheart by the fire, "was wondering why she was..." putting down the wood he turned looking at Ace and the unicorn, "not... Sweetheart."
Sweetheart got up hurring over to the unicorn helping her up "Were so sorry, we really and truely didn't mean to scare you."
The unicorn looked up at Sweetheart then at the others "Umm, hi."
"Hello, I'm Starlight, this is Sweetheart, Bonn Bonn, you met Ace and Teddy, Starglow and Happyglow."
"Stardancer..." She sat up looking nervously at the group.
"Wow, is that horn real?"
"Teddy, thats not polite. I'm really and truely sorry, Teddy doesn't think before he speeks sometimes." Sweetheart smiled at Stardancer.
"Umm, is real, I'm a unicorn, my grandmom was from unicornia, but moved to town here."
"Unicornia?" Happyglow sat up, "Is there a library there?"
Stardancer nodded slowly, "My grandmom mentioned one but, I don't know personally, I've never been there."
Teddy chuckled "Aside from the horn Sweetheart, you two could be twins."
"Remember Teddy, thats why where here, to do our part to help the twins." Ace looked at him.
"I know. I'm just saying." Teddy looked at the two.
* * * * *
The director steepled his fingers looking at the agents, "Of course you will have the full co-operation of our company but you understand this is both a dire and a sensitive mater."
The one of the agents nodded "And Department of Homeland Security will take this matter seriously."
"I am aware that the Animal Liberation Front is listed as a terrorest group, that would make Dr Carl Mitchael an Unlawful Enemy Combatent." The direct said looking at them.
"Yes it would, and he will be delt with as such." The agent said nodding.
"Animal Liberatioin markings were sprayed on the back of the cage, where the horses were stored." The 2nd agent said noding.
"As soon as security found that, they notified me, and I called you. The horses stolen may have been part of a project for dealing with biological weapons, they could possably pose a threat to civilian populations. I would suggest putting them down at range, then burning the bodies to be safe."
The two nodded "Would that not mean Dr Mitchael has been infected too?"
"Like all vet staff here, he as recieved broad spectrum innoculations, but he may be a carrier, I would recomend isolation of him just to be safe, untill we can test him." The director stated.
* * * * *
"Your home early dad." Tina lay on the sofa in the camper watching tv.
Carl moved the twins into the trailer "Tina, we need to talk."
Sitting up Tina looked over seeing the ponies "Daddy, are you bringing your work home with you now."
Carl shook his head, "We need to go, the company wanted to do something really bad, wanted to kill these little ones, and I couldn't let them."
Tina looked at the ponies, who seemed to be watching her, "They wanted to kill the ponies? Why?"
Jing-a-ling walked up to Tina "Hi, I Jing-a-Ling"
"Jing-a-ling, Ting-a-Ling, sit down please." Starting up the trailer, he pulled out of the camper lot leaving the company car there, "And that probably awnsers the pervious question."
Tina blinked "Wow, you can talk, how?"
"Momma taught us," Ting-a-ling said "when can we go back to momma?"
"I don't know, I don't know how to get you home yet."
Jing-a-ling looked at Tina "Where your mama?"
Tina sighed, she was only 11 but tended to be mature for her age, pulling her red hair behind an ear she looked at the twins "My mama died, its just me and dad now. Dad, where are we going?"
"Away from here, before the police come looking for us, the director is likely to be calling the cops for me taking them, but theres no way I could let him disect intelligent life forms."
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