New Story

[kitsy]

I've been pondering writing a Fanfic for ponies, I've co-wrote for some anime fan fic's, but I've been bouncing around an idea for a "realistic" ponies fic.

A 4 arc story, based around

(1) a humans corperation who accidently created a portal to pony land and kidnaped a pair of foals...

(2) Patch, lancer and brighteyes with the help of brightglow have to travel to terra firma, to try and rescue the foals.

(3) Starlight, ace and the rest have to go to paradice valley in search of information about humans and the history of pony land and the alternate world.

(4) A Vet and his daughter, who have rescued the pony foals from the corperation after an accident, are now on the run, labled as terrorests by the corperation, they are try to stay ahead of the law, untill they can prove what the company is really up to.

- and a hidden secret that could end in a cataclysm for earth, as well as pony land...

[Teddy]

Wow, now that sounds interesting! Very unique, I'd love to read it! ^-^

[kitsy]

Mar 30, 2009 21:01:32 GMT -5 Teddy said:

Wow, now that sounds interesting! Very unique, I'd love to read it! ^-^

It's likely it would turn out as a darker version, but one of the most powerful lines ever, thats stuck with me, comes from the series "albedo" the animals there find out they are just constructs, the questions asked, were they slaves, disposable toys, tools to use... then one of the finds a human book... Frankenstine

[brightglow]

Yay! Bright Glows in it. The story idea sounds good, but it would be good for an RPG background story too.

[kitsy]

Mar 31, 2009 13:35:58 GMT -5 brightglow said:

Yay! Bright Glows in it. The story idea sounds good, but it would be good for an RPG background story too.

Well of course, She's one of the only magical ponies mentioned by name in the series, and her abilities are needed. Not so sure on the RPG side though, while alot of stories also make good RPG hooks, because this one is broken into small groups in 3 different worlds, its harder to run as an rpg.

[kitsy]

Part one - Torn Asunder

"Bring power up anouther 20%"

"Main power is go, all systems green."

"Gyro spinning at 60 Hz"

"Power responding to 20% increase, initateing partical bore."

The room brightened, as several emitters began a sparking, the smell of ozone strong in the room, ionized air. Several scientests worked, walking in from console to console, tinted glasses protectign them from the light as they checked readings. Behind stood director Stevens, watching intently. Clearing his throat he spoke in a commanding voice "So this is the zeropoint project, 300 million dollars of funding, comes down to this."

"Bring power up anouther 10%, incrase to 90 Hz," Docter Zular turned, an older man in his late 40's, the docter's brown hair was already turning grey, his white lab coat covered partly in dirt and oil from the mechancial and hydrolic systems, "Yes director and you won't be disapointed, we are starting the attempt now, the idea being to pull power from subspace."

Noding the director looked at him, brushing some dust off his expensive suit, his brown hair perfectly and designer sunglasses covering his eyes from the flashes and arc's of light. "As it is now, all it is pulling is money. If this project does not start showing a profet we will be forced to terminate it, as well as you and your team."

He was the youngest person in the company to make Director, at 33, his sence for buisness and profet, for options had never failed him before, he knew when to cut and knew when to stay.

"I'm showing a spike on the partical count, were getting some feed back, compensating."

"Tunneling effect seems to be working, were showing partical increase."


* * * * *


Melodey looked up over her shoulder, "Oh hey Ace, you and Lancer heading for soccer practice?"

"Yep, got a big game coming up, Patch, Teddy and Buddy should already be there." He kicked the ball over to Lancer who caught it.

Bouncing the ball lancer nodded "You wanna join us and watch Mel?"

Shaking her head with a sigh she pointed at the foals, "Sorry guys, mom got called in to the hospital for an emergnacy, I'm stuck watching Jing-A-Ling and Ting-A-Ling, I even had to pass up practice with the rock'n'beats."

"Sorry, well can't keep teddy waiting," As ace turned his for stood up, the smell of ozone building in the air, causing his mane to friz abit.

Lance droped the ball, putting one houf on it and slowly looked around, fealing the energy in the air too, Melodey stood up quick "Jing, Ting, get over here quick you two."

The twin-ettes looked up and started to run for Melodey, when lighting struck the ground between them. A large bubble of lighting formed around the Twin-ettes, sparking, and setting fire to fallen leaves, Jing-A-Ling screamed for Melodey, as Ting-A-ling started crying. Before Lancer or Melodey could even take a step, the field erupted, leaving a hole in the ground where the twins once stood. Lancer and Melodey landed on their sides from the shockwave, while Ace was thrown into a tree.

Standing and shaking himself out ace looked around, "Lancer! Melodey!"

Melodey sat blinking in shock "Where are the twins."


* * * * *

Dazzleglow's horn flashed, rearing up she whinnied loudly, her pink wings spread wide, in fright. Brightglow looked over at her, not always understanding the winged unicorn, she had learned to trust her intuition, folding her own wings to her side she walked up to her, pink mane and tail being blown in the wind "Whats wrong?"

Dazzleglow looked down panting abit "I felt... I felt a rip." her pink body fur all stood on end, pink feathers all a fluff, her blue and white mane and tail blowing softly.

Brightglow looked confused "A rip? Are you hurt?"

Shaking her head Dazzleglow looked to her friend "Yes, no, not physically, something happened, we need to get to Big Pony River, to the town. Get the others."

Brightglow nodded, spreading her golden wings she lept into the air, flying as fast as she could to round up Starglow and happyglow.

"Why now, why are they back now?" Dazzleglow paced back and forth waiting, untill the others arived, Happyglow landed skidding to a stop beside Starglow and they all looked at the winged unicorn. Looking to the others Dazzleglow took a deep breath, "How meny heart crystals can we scrounge up quickly?"

Brightglow thought about it a moment, "Three, maybe 4, rest of them are scattered to far or burried to deep to get them quickly.

"Heart crystals? There hasn't been a need for those in..." Starglow blinked looking to brightglow.

"We will need them, and we will need to get them to the town, I senced... Humans." Dazzlegow looked down.

Happyglow blinked in shock "Humans, how, where? Why would humans be here?"

Dazzleglow shook her head "I don't know, and they arn't here now, I just senced them, for a moment, as if a door had opened, then slamed shut. Something truely bad is happening."

The 4 nodded and scattered to gather the crystals as fast as they could fly before making their way to the mainland.

[brightglow]

It starts to be very intrsting, by the way since pegasus and winged unicorn is in the story there should be an unicorn too.

[kitsy]

Apr 1, 2009 4:15:40 GMT -5 brightglow said:

It starts to be very intrsting, by the way since pegasus and winged unicorn is in the story there should be an unicorn too.

Well, I was just using the 4 flyers that rescued patch in the tv show. since they were "cannon" characters. Brightglow, Happyglow, and Starglow, the 3 pegasus characters, and Dazzleglow, the only "official" winged unicorn or alicorn in the pony series. Also strangly enough, powers displayed by her of mending the balloon with her horn and starting the fire with her horn, kinda go past the 1 power per unicorn, and if its her thats turning everyone into "light form" for super speed flight, that would be 3 distinct powers. powerful little thing there.

[Teddy]

Ohhhhhhh, I love it! I really like this storyline and can't wait to read more! It's like, sci-fi meets fantasy...with ponies!!

Poor Jing-a-Ling and Ting-a-Ling!

[mlptfan]

Best story ever! 60Hz! Subspace! I am hooked! ^__^

EDIT:
I got inspired by your character Director Stevens I had to draw him (supervising the project from behind the protective glass):


Inspired by Brian Dennehy (actor) and Professor Oak (Pokémon) XD

[Teddy]

lol!! That's awesome, mlptfan! XD

[kitsy]

Asunder part 2

Director Stevens sat behind his desk, hands togeather looking sternly at the docter, dust and dirt still on his jacket, which made him less then cheerful. "So, a failure."

"I'm sorry sir, I have no idea what happened, we were starting to get energy back, then..." Dr Zular looked paniced, he took off his glasses cleaning them with his tie.

"Then a 300 million dollar project to produce energy, produces half a ton of dirt, and 2 horses. Do you think half a ton of dirt is worth 300 million dollars?" The director turned his back to Dr Zular, leaning back in his leather chair.

"No sir but we are still collecting data on what happened. You have to give us time..."

"I do not HAVE to GIVE you anything." Turning his intercom beeped as his secretary announced the arival of Dr Mitchael. "Send him in."

A younger man, Dr Mitchael had only graduated from Vet meds 4 years ago, at 27, he was bearly 5 foot 9, with short blond hair, standing almost timidly infront of the directors desk he took a breath. "Sorry sir, I know I was hired as a tech for the lab animals but these foals are... strange. They are both sedated and recovering, It doesn't look like they have taken any serious injuries, but..."

The director looked intently at Dr Mitchael "But?"

"Sir, they are not like any equines I have seen. After cleaning them, I've confirmed their fur color as a light blue. Its not a natural color for equines, Genetic testing has them related to the Tarpan breed, an extinct horse breed, but theres alot of differences." He took a breath "They were both crying when I sedated them, not like an equine cry."

The director nodded then looked to Dr Zular "It unintentional side effect, it seems. You have 3 days to give me some awnsers." Looking back to his staff animal tech "Keep me apprised on them, dissect one of them if needed. Doubtful we can recover 300 million in expenses on 2 little equines, but we might get lucky."

"Dissection? There both alive..." Dr Mitchael blinked.

"And we have two." The director simply looked at him coldly.

* * * * *


Ace sat hugging melodey gently, letting her cry against him, as they sat in the park. Lancer had galloped back the sheriff and Melodey's mom, as Brighteyes, Sweetheart, Patch, and Bonn Bonn followed to see what was going on.

Melodey's mom stoped and hugged her gently "What happened? Where are the twins?"

Ace took a deep breath "Gone, some sort of lightning bolt hit the ground, and then they were just gone."

A firepony came over to the sherif "Hi sir, we have most of the fires out, theres about a 10 length hole in the ground almost perfectly round and round bottem, electric company is coming in, it cut through a powerline."

The sherif nodded and looked back to Lancer "Its ok we'll do what we can to find out what happened"

Just then Starlight came running in, panting hard, still wearing her leggings, "Patch, theres something going on at Big Pony River... Whats happened?"

Patch looked over blinking "Big Pony River?"

Sweetheart gently put her forleg on Melodey "Its ok Melodey were all here for you, we really and truely are."

Ace looked up "Some sort of lightning bolt, now Jing-a-ling and Ting-a-ling are missing."

Starlight gasped "Oh my gosh... I'm sorry... but patch, you really need to come with me... Now."

Patch blinked looking up "Whats going on Starlight?"

"I can't say right now, I was just told to get you there."

"By who?" patch looked confused, not sure how to help melodey right now.

"They said there name was Brightglow."

Patch got up and ran as fast as she could with Starlight, cutting across the park they followed the river to the bend. Slowing, patch saw the 4, Brightglow, Dazzleglow, Starglow and Happyglow stood, glowing softly in the fading light of the day. Steping forward brightglow, wings folded tight to her side nodded "Hello Patch, its been some time."

"Brightglow! Your back." Patch almost yelled excited.

"Dazzleglow senced something, bad had happened."

Patch nodded "Jing-a-ling and Ting-a-ling, melodey's baby sisters got hit by lightning, we can't find them, no ones saying it but we think they might be..." lowering her head patch choked back her own emotions.

Dazzleglow shook her head "They are alive, but they were taken."

Starlight blinked "Taken, where, by whom?"

"By humans, to anouther... world." Dazzleglow spoke calmly yet still concerned. "I know they are not dead, I can not explain how, but I know they survived the crossing."

Patch blinked looking confused, "Whats a human?"

"I'm not sure, I've never heard that term before," Starlight said, "can save the twins?"

Brightglow nodded slowly "Yes, but someone will need to travel to their world, and bring them back."

Patch put her houf down "I'm going, no questions asked, this is an adventure I can't pass up."

Brightglow nodded "I knew you would. You care alot for those around you, but remember, caution is needed in all adventures Patch, I told you that before. 4 of us can go, myself, you Patch, and 2 others, but we have a 2nd task to do."

"Second task?" Starlight tilted her head.

"Yes, Happyglow and StarGlow will need some help, they need to travel to Paradise valley, for some items there, and for some research, they can't do it alone." Brightglow looked to Starlight, "can you and your friends help them?"

"What about Dazzleglow?" Starlight asked curious, and still shocked at seeing pegasus and a winged unicorn.

"Dazzleglow will need to stay here, she is the only one that can find and open the portals." Brightglow looked to her friend knowing she wanted to go too.

Dazzleglow nodded slowly "I am sorry, my job remains here, the portal to the... foals... is on the sea..."

Starlight sat down "Lancer has a big yacht, his familly owns it, I'm sure he'd help, as well as Brighteyes."

Brightglow looked to Starlight then Patch "Are you ok with traveling with Lancer and Brighteyes?"

Patch blinked and nodded quick "Sure, not a problem."

"Dazzleglow and myself will meet you on the ocean, Patch," Dazzleglow had already taken flight as Brightglow finished "Starlight, bring the others that want to help here, Happyglow and Starglow will be back shortly." And with that they all took flight.

Starlight looked at Patch in disbelief "I still don't belive.... Patch, what are we going to tell our parents."

Patch sat too... "I wish I knew."

[mlptfan]

Bravo! Story is turning out great! ^^

Stevens are truly evil XD

[brightglow]

I'm so excitin, I can't wait to read more. The picture is wonderful mlpfan.

[kitsy]

Apr 2, 2009 13:32:49 GMT -5 brightglow said:

I'm so excitin, I can't wait to read more. The picture is wonderful mlpfan.

Hehe, looks like my story has people coming on more often.