My Tubby Pony Tales- Bons between the Stars

[bobdude]

So I have good news notes, I have finally gotten off my butt and started editing the story. Going to just stick with the title of Bons between the Stars to lessen the cheese factor. Already covered part one of your big meaty review and I'll start with part two tomorrow.

[Notes]

Okay, sweet! I'm almost done with Part Four, which will encompass the rest of the story. I can't wait to read it again once you finish your edits, though. 8)

[Notes]

Before I recap what happened last chapter, I’d like to announce something to everyone who reads these comments, including bobdude. You may notice that I leave the Schoolhouse randomly for short intervals of time before coming back.


I do not wish to abandon anybody when I do this: it is a quirk of my computer that will take a while to be resolved that I call ‘soft reset.’ In this error, I have to restart my computer, switching power sources. If you happen to be online and I leave, there is a pretty good chance that I had to tend to this inconvenience.


Furthermore, I have been online near constantly for the past week, and that will end tomorrow as I have to be somewhere. However, I shall continue to be online every day in the latter hours of the day, normally after 5pm EST.


Additionally, I applaud the guests and members of this fine forum. Believe it or not, we’re at an all-time high in the number of guests here without a new member in the past 24 hours. I attribute this to there being activity on here again, and for the guests’ avid interest. You guys are great!


And now… without further ado…


My Tubby Pony Tales – Bons between the Stars


“Big, Meaty Review” #4
- All fun things come to an end eventually and this is the end of these reviews

Last time when I commented on My Tubby Pony Tales, we had Starlight and Bon Bon agreeing to get fat together as their couple pastime.


But now, we have a time skip that goes to 3 months later; at the end of the summer, at the Ponyland National Airport, where Patch reunites with Sweetheart and Teddy. I have no qualms about this except the fact that Patch “lowered her front hoof down.” If she lowers her front hoof, she puts it down, so this is redundant phrasing.


So anyway, Sweetheart asks Patch how her writer’s workshop was, and I proceed to chuckle as she says that the other writers griped over a plot-hole in her story about winged unicorn sisters. Come to think of it, isn’t that a Friendship is Magic reference? For some reason I thought of Sweetie Belle and Rarity as alicorns when I read this. But clever.


And it turns out Sweetheart got a degree in certifying things, or really, counselling. Patch is being silly as ever, and Sweetheart blushes at serious praise from her. Nice subtle characterization here, and a good exhibition of character development with Teddy and Sweetheart’s exchange.


Clover the semi-professional poker player and dancer ran up to them before stumbling like usual. After being helped up, she hugs Sweetheart when she hears about her degree (which is just so Clover like in and of itself).


But Clover seemed like she disliked Minty, Derpy and the other pony when she rants about them. Is that the effect you intended to create? 8< ‘Rant’ means ‘rage,’ so another word would fit there if you didn’t mean to make that effect.


Bright Eyes appears along with Lancer. Apparently they went on a jungleland excursion, and had a nice time, and as Lancer shows everyone his expensive Ponyo 5300 phone. I don’t understand how he could have used any phone in the forest; there would have been no power supply.


Plus, if this takes place when the ponies are fresh out of high school, it took place sometime from 2000 to 2002. There were no camera phones out back then, but there were high-tech cameras.


But anyway, Starlight calls them over when her mom faints, but I can’t help but think that’s a little illogical, considering the fact that there are authorities to call in that case. Can you explain why the circumstances would entail calling Lancer?


I like the brief description of Ponsworth, though I would add a comma in between ‘gray’ and ‘well-groomed.’ He reminds me of the butler from Littlest Pet Shop, or of Paul from Sgt. Frog. Both are awesome butlers. I’ll have to consider having him in my own stories, if I ever write Lancer as a main character.


I wouldn’t put a hyphen in between ‘we’re’ and ‘here’. For the effect of gasping, I would either put a sound effect of Clover gasping for breath or an ellipse.


Then… they see Starlight. The new Starlight. After everyone stares at her for a little bit, Patch remarks, “Man Star, that is one heck of a good fat suit.”


Starlight reveals that her huge size (she can’t even fit behind the counter) is real. You have creative license to make the ponies as big as you like, but I personally don’t see how someone could get that fat in three months, especially somebody who may still be at the tail end of puberty.


Clover and Bright Eyes’ exchange was in-character and a welcome bit of comedy to complement the disbelieving, shocked tone of this scene. As a matter of fact, the dialogue after Starlight removes herself from the counter is very much in character, especially that Sweetheart.

“And then some is putting it mildly!” This time Sweetheart tag teamed with Bright Eyes to deliver a double glare to Patch. “What? It’s true!”

Oh my, I love your snarky Patch! Plus Bright Eyes and Sweetheart tag teaming up on her is awesome. Plus Bright Eyes’ monologue is so in-character for her it’s silly.

“Well-“ A flush of red appeared across Starlight’s chubbified muzzle. “You do a lot of things you normally wouldn’t when you’re in love.”


“Ace has a fat fetish?”

I laughed at Clover’s earnestness here. It’s so characteristic of her to be sincere about this, and funny in and of itself.


Starlight laughs at Clover’s guess, and this next part is big enough to have its own sentence. Starlight admits her love for Bon Bon.


Silence ensues. Patch’s exclamation of, “You and Bon Bon are dating!?” accurately describes my sentiments if I were there.


Then Sweetheart is the romantic she is and comments on the sweetness of the situation. She also snaps Teddy out of the trance he’s fallen into. For some reason I like the trance thing for Teddy; it fits for some reason.


Sweetheart continues being the sweetheart she is and says that she’s glad Starlight and Bon Bon are dating, and asks her how long that’s been in place. Starlight tells her that it’s been three months.

“And you put on weight because Bon's got some sort of secret fetish for it?” Patch remarked, arching an questioning eyebrow as she spoke.

Oh my, bobdude; again, I love your style of writing Patch. Beyond words, somewhat. This deadpan snarker side really works in your writing style! I’d love to see more of her in the future, though you have your good versions of all of the characters, like your jokey Bon Bon and your realist Bright Eyes. (Also, change ‘an’ to ‘a.’)


Starlight is, again, totally honest here. I love it.


But when Bright Eyes thinks, or anyone for that matter, you really should italicize it. If you don’t denote it in some way, you confuse the reader to no end. Some people also use apostrophes to denote it (‘What a strange thing to say,’ Sweetheart thought) but the point is that you need to mark them.


Lancer asks Starlight if they could see Bon Bon, and she leads them to the salon room. Everyone is amazed by the display, and Bon Bon cracks a joke before we have a paragraph about what Bon Bon looks like. And for me, it’s pretty darn terrifying. How could someone’s hooves suddenly become as thick as tree trunks? And how much would she have to weigh for her stomach to touch the ground?!


And when you describe the butt, which I stubbornly refer to as hindquarters, I just… wow. You certainly have the feeling of shock down in your writing, that’s for sure.

Plus, I can visualize perfectly what Bon Bon has become. And that is a good thing. (She IS, indeed, a caricature of her previous self.)


Also… you are aware that while making love and having sex are different, they both involve sexual acts? I don’t know what that entails, but I’m just ensuring you knew what you were saying when you said ‘making love.’


Then you return with a bit of Starlight and Bon Bon reminiscing on their fat times together, and I’m willing to assume you rethought this scene out many times. What exactly they did while their friends were out doing other things defined what their relationship was like, and besides, it was a pinnacle of what half your audience is looking for.

“Oh thank Pony Christ! I had an awfel nightmare. I dreamed that uou and Bon Bon were obese lovers.” Starlight's mom then let out a small chuckle. “If you can belive something as absurd as that.”



“...About that, mom.”



With a sinking gut feeling and not at all liking the tone in her daughter's voice, Starlight's mother shot her eyes opened. When she got a look at her daughter and Bon Bon (completely ignoring the others as just distant blurs) the pink salon pony did the only reasonable thing a hard working class mother could did in her situation.


She screamed.


“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Nice touch, ignoring the others. Revise the first sentence of that paragraph, though. It doesn’t flow very well. But aside from that, great timing for the comedic effect here.
Especially with the gratuitous A’s. Incorrect grammatically, but great for the humor.


Come to think of it, you writing a parody or a comedy would be a spectacle. You did a pretty good job with romance here, especially for it not being your favorite, but with your often-funny style of writing I’d love to see how it turned out.


Then we have a break, and we get to see Starlight’s mom’s thoughts on everything. I liked how you phrase the fact she didn’t pass out; it’s nice having a bit of your narrative voice there too.


Starlight's mother let out a sigh as she adjusted her rump and back on the red cushioning of the booth she was currently in. To her credit, she had manged to not pass out for a second time, and now that she was sure that she was fully awake and NOT dreaming a horrible nightmare where her only daughter had let herself go over the summer, and apparently turned out to prefer mares to stallions she had manged to keep to grip with the situation. Mostly.


I noticed, though, that this whole paragraph is a single sentence. That necessitates edits. Also, it’s ‘keep grips’ not ‘keep to grip.’ I love the content, and even its presentation, but these things should be fixed.


On another note, I can picture you typing out ‘since she was ten’ while finding an alternative for putting Starlight’s name in parenthesis. I normally rewrite the entire paragraph around it just so I don’t need to type a character’s name where it’d be redundant, but you did a good job here.


For all of her flaws (not the least of which involved letting both herself and poor Starlight becoming the size of small cars) Starlight's mom at least knew that Bon Bon would treat far better than that Ace boy ever had.


I laughed at the ‘size of small cars’ sentiment. But are they really that big? And I like how Star’s mom is trying to put this in perspective.

…utt overflowing and jiggling like pink lemonade flavored Jello (whether or not pink lemonade flavored Jello actually existed didn’t matter to Starmom).

You really would be great at writing a satirical work, again.

But anyway, I loved Starlight and, I daresay, Starmom’s interactions. In the show, I got the vibe that Starlight’s mom was cool enough to raise Starlight to be cool. They’re clearly close (though not on Patch’s parents’ level) but I loved how they had a mature discussion over the weight and homosexuality issue.


I also love how you stated that Starlight and Bon Bon saw Melody’s mom. It’s a nice way to confront the health implications of getting fat where I feel other fetish fics would fail. So good job.

“And that's how Star and me won first place the Couple's Sumo Tournament.”

I’d be pretty shocked if I just heard Bon Bon saying that out of the blue. I also could picture Clover questioning whether there was a sumo wrestling tournament. Nice touch.


When Patch fantasizes about being a sumo wrestler, you know things are going to get weirder than Bon Bon and Starlight already being sumo champion homosexual obese ponies. It sounds like you were employing some foreshadowing for the sequel that’ll never come, in which Patch either develops a fat fetish, becomes a sumo wrestler fighting Starlight and Bon Bon for the gold, or making a chubby twosome a chubby threesome.


But again, she cares about being athletic, so maybe that’d be when she pulls out the fat suit. The last sentence has a perspective switch; it’s supposed to be third person, not first. (I’m not seriously expecting this sequel, either.)


I love your description of Bon Bon as a ‘blobish butter colored friend.” It alliterates and describes her new form. And again, I love Teddy’s trance here, though Sweetheart’s reaction is even better.


I honestly had to look up Talcum powder. Is what it is common knowledge in Ponyland, or is it just Patch, Teddy, Lancer and Sweetheart’s in-joke? I loved Sweetheart’s mischievous giggle, too.


And then we cut to Bright Eyes thinking about her true feelings about her friends’ obese relationship, and she wonders why she isn’t just happy for them. Their health? Jealousy? Something else entirely?


As this “roaring cyclone of guilt and annoyance” (love that phrase) go through her head, Bright Eyes crashes into Melody. I thought of Arnold from the Magic School Bus when you said a read-haired young man sneezed. Man I have to watch some Magic School Bus…


But I love your Melody’s mock bow. And her music zone. I also love how supportive she turns out to be, and how she is so blunt in her observations.


Goat demon dude? I assume you mean Discord or Grogar here. A *snick* note for yourself is to do yourself a favor and consider how such a thing would be possible. Even something absurd like “Grogar wanted to play” or “Discord felt bored and decided that he was going to torture Clover for the day by being her genie” would suffice, though not as well as a logical explanation.


I like your mention of Teddy and Patch and the thing with having a black eye. I’ve used the comparison a bit with Melody before, giving ponies injuries when they’re mad. Also, ironically, normally when she’s talking about Teddy’s jerk attitude or Patch being a little twerp or just irritating her. Half the time it’s warranted threats.


I love how wise Melody is in the next scene, too, with the abstract reasoning, and Bright Eyes’ receptiveness to the ideas. She reminds me of myself here, too. Don’t mind if I say this, but even when I get emotional, my logic still tells me when that’s acceptable and what’s not, and I can still tell right from wrong. Bright Eyes perfectly reflects that here.


I also love how Melody goes along with Bright Eyes for moral support. A nice little tap into the nice side of her personality. Plus her bluntness is present again.

“I'm not comfortable with either of you dating or the sizes that you're both at.”

Too bad Bright Eyes doesn’t have the same awesomeness Melody does to be able to pull it off flawlessly. Seriously, Bright Eyes.


Good thing Bon Bon and Starlight just blink at that. Then Starlight explains the situation and how they won’t stop dating, but they will cut back on their weight. No real comments on Bon Bon’s pride though, so sorry.


Bright Eyes seemed to realize that this task wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be. Bon Bon nonchalantly asks Bright Eyes if they can’t continue being friends.


Then Bright Eyes tells them the full truth of what will happen, with not allowing her discomfort get in the way of their friendship. She also says she’d set up a triple date with the two ponies, her and Lancer, and Sweetheart and Teddy. Sweet addition.


Then Starlight’s stomach growls when she suggests going to the movie theater. Melody suggests a buffet instead.


After sharing a laugh, this episode ends episodically as it could have: with a laugh and a hug between the two lovers, and a happy ending in the future.

And with that, you have your author’s notes, but I already gave my ideas on those.


Overall, good job, especially for so many firsts. Some aspects of grammar were missed here, but that is the biggest gripe, and it’s not even a major one. Getting someone else to read it and give you advice is the best way to get through your brand of it.


Grammatical Gripes and Spelling Mistakes

• In the first part, ‘Starlight’s’ has a misplaced apostrophe I didn't notice until now.

• ‘Klutz’ pluralized is ‘klutzes,’ not ‘klutzs’.

• Bright Eyes said that she and Lancer ‘recoded’ lots. Did you mean ‘recoded’ or ‘recorded?’ I can’t tell.

• ‘Awfel’ is spelled ‘awful’ and, in the same paragraph, ‘uou’ is actually ‘you.’

• Starlight’s mom’s latter word does not need to be capitalized.

• The scene between Bright Eyes’ and Melody’s discussion and the one where Bright Eyes confronts Starlight and Bon Bon lacks a line break.


“We can take the limo, Ponsworth can drive us to the salon!” Lancer stated as the finally left the enclosed airport before dashing towards the mentioned vehicle. Everyone was quick to clamber in, while Lancer leaned forward toward’s the driver.


I love your use of ‘clambered’ here, but…

1: A semicolon would do better than a comma here.

2: ‘Stated’ is a dull word, if you were trying to get across action like I feel you were.

3. ‘The’ should be ‘they.’

4: I would divide this passage into different sentences right around here.

5: ‘Aforementioned’ fits better than ‘mentioned’ here.

6: ‘Towards’ is not possessive, so there is no apostrophe.

“Where’s you’re mom Sweetheart?” Lancer asked, eyes still at ground level as he and the others began to pick themselves off of the floor.

Firstly, change ‘you’re’ to ‘your.’ And I do believe that you mean Starlight’s mom here.

“Are you guys okay? You don’t look very well.” Starlight commented as she squeezed her fattened frame out of the back counter space, escaping with a slight pop! Noise in the process.

I see what you were trying to do here, but I would capitalize ‘POP’ and lower-case ‘noise.’


“Huh? Right, cute n stuff” should have an apostrophe after ‘n’.

You can't be serious Starlight, I mean just LOOK at you, you're almost as big as Bon Bon was and your happy about that? You could barely get out from behind the counter top for pony's sake! There's big and then there's TOO big, and you've long since crossed that line.

1: This is a run-on sentence that could be divided in many different ways.

2: ‘Your’ is ‘you’re’ here.

Teddy could only bush as he looked over to Sweetheart.


Sounds like we have a new ship: Fluttertree and TeddyBush. It’d be atrocious I tell you; atrocious…

“It was bi- I mean good. It was good. Yes, good.” It spoke volumes about the size that Starlight and Bon Bon (who jiggled closer to her girlfriend when she heard Melody's name) had reached that the titled 'Princess of Parties and Rock' was left near speechless at the sight of them.

Improve this section for flow. I would butcher the style if I tried rewriting it.


Phrases that need hyphens:

• Mid-afternoon

• Semi-professional


Some problems with the formatting are probably present here. If something is confusing, I can clarify it.

[bobdude]

1. So I'm glad to see that overall the story holds up pretty solid and that you liked it, also glad to see that there aren't as many grammatical errors as I thought there'd be.

1. Good point on the redundant phrasing thing with Patch

2. "But Clover seemed like she disliked Minty, Derpy and the other pony when she rants about them. Is that the effect you intended to create? 8< ‘Rant’ means ‘rage,’ so another word would fit there if you didn’t mean to make that effect." Eh, it wasn't so much that she disliked them as more Clover just thought they were weirdoes. Might rewrite that a bit when I come to it.

3. I don’t understand how he could have used any phone in the forest; there would have been no power supply." Eh, Lancer's rich. Just apply the same logic that you do to Scrooge Mcduck or Richie Rich: He's so rich he had is own custom jungle made cell phone charger. Also, fun fact, took the cell phone name from a phone type that was actually around during 2002. As for how he got the cell phone, he's rich, he brought a fancy prototype and fixed it up.

4. "But anyway, Starlight calls them over when her mom faints, but I can’t help but think that’s a little illogical, considering the fact that there are authorities to call in that case. Can you explain why the circumstances would entail calling Lancer?" Yeah, that is, a very good point but I can't think of a decent answer aside from "because plot", so if you got any suggestions Notes I'm more than open to them.

5. Fun fact, Ponsworth's is basically the pony version of Ducksworth from the Duck Tales cartoon. Why? Because I love me some reference humor, that's why.

6. "You have creative license to make the ponies as big as you like, but I personally don’t see how someone could get that fat in three months, especially somebody who may still be at the tail end of puberty.: Eh, the power of love is a mysterious thing, makes one man weep and another man sing, also can change a hawk into a little white dove, more than a feeling, that's the power of love. And that's not even getting into all the crazy stuff magic love can do, just look at Cadence! As for the weight thing, like I said before, I was partly inspired by this good gentleman and his weight gain pony stories and those have ponies packing on the pounds in a short amount of time (normally one big vast tasty meal), so the three months seemed reasonable to me. collinfatpony.deviantart.com/gallery/

7. "How could someone’s hooves suddenly become as thick as tree trunks? And how much would she have to weigh for her stomach to touch the ground?!" By eating a lot of course silly! And I have no idea what the proper/realist pony weight would be, hence why I didn't bring it up in the story.

8. "Plus, I can visualize perfectly what Bon Bon has become. And that is a good thing. (She IS, indeed, a caricature of her previous self.)' for reference sake, this is what I had in mind for Starlight and Bon Bon respectfully. collinfatpony.deviantart.com/art/CollinFatPony-ID-385031221 www.inflatechan.net/furry/src/139270871756.png


9. Also… you are aware that while making love and having sex are different, they both involve sexual acts? I don’t know what that entails, but I’m just ensuring you knew what you were saying when you said ‘making love.’ Eh, wanted to try and be classy about it, while still leaving it up to the reader's minds just HOW steamy things got within those 3 months, or if the only steam in their relationship came from the freshly baked pies they stuffed one another with.

10. "Revise the first sentence of that paragraph, though" You mean the Thank pony christ one? Also, glad to see that you find my funny parts funny. Straight up romance is no fun if you can't poke a bit of fun at it.

11. "I laughed at the ‘size of small cars’ sentiment. But are they really that big? And I like how Star’s mom is trying to put this in perspective." Naw, Starmom's just wossname, being all meta-mah-phorical and exaggerating about their size is all.

12. "You really would be great at writing a satirical work, again." Well, I have toyed with the idea of a Multi Pony Gen crossover based loosely off of Marvel's Secret Wars event, but with less villains, more ponies fattened against their will a sumo wrestling against one another, and staring the Brony version of this guy. www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApZI2f8kZM0

13. "I also love how you stated that Starlight and Bon Bon saw Melody’s mom. It’s a nice way to confront the health implications of getting fat where I feel other fetish fics would fail. So good job." Thanks, wasn't quite sure how well it worked, but I figured it was better to have it brought up and mentioned then just flat out ignored.

14. "When Patch fantasizes about being a sumo wrestler, you know things are going to get weirder than Bon Bon and Starlight already being sumo champion homosexual obese ponies. It sounds like you were employing some foreshadowing for the sequel that’ll never come, in which Patch either develops a fat fetish, becomes a sumo wrestler fighting Starlight and Bon Bon for the gold, or making a chubby twosome a chubby threesome." I figured with a little over 9000 words, I've given the readers more than enough to work with reading wise, but thought putting in small little 'future maybes' might be fun to do, and a threesome is tempting. Also might be fun to do a PatchBon sumo story some day (once I take care of my Dragon ball z stuff)

15. "And again, I love Teddy’s trance here, though Sweetheart’s reaction is even better." Not sure if I ever brought it up in the story proper, but Teddy did at one point date Bon Bon for a short time, and does in fact have a partial fat fetish. Key word here is partial of course.

16. "I honestly had to look up Talcum powder. Is what it is common knowledge in Ponyland, or is it just Patch, Teddy, Lancer and Sweetheart’s in-joke? I loved Sweetheart’s mischievous giggle, too." This was a semi subtle reference to my headcanon of Lancer and Bright Eyes having a sort of age-play/diaper loving/infantism fetish thing that they do from time to time (based off of the Shop Talk episode, my brain tis a very twisted place), and is another story idea I've toyed with as a sort of 'sequel' to this one (long story short BE and Lance get Teddy and Sweetheart in on the padded puffy fun)

17. "I thought of Arnold from the Magic School Bus when you said a read-haired young man sneezed. Man I have to watch some Magic School Bus…" This was in fact another subtle refence to Danny Williams from the G1 cartoon, the first refence being the Leader (megan), the Mother (Molly, to the baby ponies of Paradise Estate), and the Prankster (Danny).

18, "But I love your Melody’s mock bow. And her music zone." Melody is basically the rock n roll version of Vinyl Scratch only she doesn't go and criticize the leaders of her world without knowing all the info before hoof. www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-jGp0OxMOY&list=PL86648BA17A2813D8 Also, Melody would TOTALLY love Electric Mayhem www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXXYnt43Yjw

19. Goat demon dude? I assume you mean Discord or Grogar here." Grogar, actually. Ties into my headcaonon of G1 Dream Valley being the same world as Tales but in the far past. This in spite of the fact that I think that G1 being Equestria's past is played out and devalues both Gens. Yes, I am a hypocrite why do you ask?

Now onto the second review section for edits, away!

[Notes]

1. Naturally.

2. I got what you were trying to get across with the wierdoes thing, but it came out, again, as a rage.

3. I figured that your phone title was a real phone; it just popped out at me for some reason. I'm really just curious as to whether that technology was really out back then. (I was a toddler, after all.)

4. That was the impression I got, too; 'because plot.' I scratch my head and try to think of something, but maybe Sweetheart would tend to Miss Starlight for a minute, on- or off-screen. Her old dream of being a doctor would work here. Or perhaps Melody took lessons from her mom, and Bright Eyes is pretty smart, and might have a First-Aid kit if she just got out of the jungle.

5. I knew that was a reference. But it fell pretty seamlessly into the story, I think.

6. You're right about the power of love nonsense, and you did tell me about Sir/Madame Fat Pony. If other authors have one huge meal making them fat, then your story is really logical by comparison.

7. Well... well...! You put Starlight at 300 or so pounds, and the girl, by the sounds of it, can't be older than 23. That's just a bit, for lack of a better term, nightmarish for someone like me.

8. The latter image I had to put through Bing search. I'm gonna have nightmares after that second one, man. Applejack just looked so unhappy in her form, and so muddy, and she wouldn't have even been able to walk... O____O

9. Ah, okay. I'm glad that you didn't just toss the term in there. It really implies stuff. Steam from the pies? Clever little duck!

10. I guess I meant the whole first paragraph. It's riddled with little misspellings.

11. Okay. That's a relief, actually! Not being able to fit into a car out of pure fatness... Ohmygosh. 0o0

12. Sounds like it would get pretty satirical. However, if I thought reading this was awkward at times, then it'd be pretty tough to read a story like the one you describe. Of course I would at the prospect of more Tales and some humor from you, but just saying.

13. No problem! It was a good call at least not flat-out ignoring it.

14. I'm pretty sure I'm nervousited for that if anything. I've never read a threesome story before, or a story where PatchBon actually happens, but... variety is the spice of life, right? But enjoy doing your DragonBall Z stuff.

15. You never brought up Teddy and Bon Bon dating in the story, but it makes a bit of sense, as the comics would have you know. It works here especially well, so even if it hadn't happened in the show you'd have proper artistic license reasoning to have it happen.

16. 08 O8 DB What. Sequel of sorts? Again, nervousited, though a bit more on the 'nervous' side for this one than the sumo tournament or the threesome one. I'd of course give it a read, but wow. You're creative, my friend. Any other interests I should acquaintance myself with before you think of something with them?

17. Ah. I personally haven't seen much G1 proper (as I've said a hundred billion times). But nice reference, though I could tell it was one.

18. I shall watch both videos when I have the time. But seriously, nice.

19. I'd agree with any generation being in the past not being my favorite. If a generation is in the past, then the characters in it are all dead, after all, and possibly even the world they inhabited in. I think Heck Yeah Pony Scans mentioned Brightglow possibly being from 'over the rainbow' implying that they could coexist. Then, in a different place, Equestria and G3 Ponyville live happily, maybe on a different planet or something (as juvenile as it sounds). Or they all exist separately, I don't know.

[bobdude]

4. That was the impression I got, too; 'because plot.' I scratch my head and try to think of something, but maybe Sweetheart would tend to Miss Starlight for a minute, on- or off-screen. Her old dream of being a doctor would work here. Or perhaps Melody took lessons from her mom, and Bright Eyes is pretty smart, and might have a First-Aid kit if she just got out of the jungle.

Eh, I can work with that I guess.

14. I'm pretty sure I'm nervousited for that if anything. I've never read a threesome story before, or a story where PatchBon actually happens, but... variety is the spice of life, right? But enjoy doing your DragonBall Z stuff.
Cool, feel free to drop me a review on ff.net when you have the time. Something nice and meaty.

7. Well... well...! You put Starlight at 300 or so pounds, and the girl, by the sounds of it, can't be older than 23. That's just a bit, for lack of a better term, nightmarish for someone like me.

Notes, Notes, Notes, if you think a mere 300 pounds is 'nightmarish', you aint seen nothing yet! I know of pictures and stories that would melt you mind and haunt your very nightmares.

8. The latter image I had to put through Bing search. I'm gonna have nightmares after that second one, man. Applejack just looked so unhappy in her form, and so muddy, and she wouldn't have even been able to walk... O____O
Eh, that pic was a fattfied version of Applejack from Simply Ways, only if Trenderhoov was a Fat Admirer I suppose. Tis a very squishy and huggable Applejack though.


12. Sounds like it would get pretty satirical. However, if I thought reading this was awkward at times, then it'd be pretty tough to read a story like the one you describe. Of course I would at the prospect of more Tales and some humor from you, but just saying."

Twould be a very silly, very crazy story. G4 Applejack is the sarcastic forth wall breaker, Rarity is at first horrified by her new size (as is G3 Rainbow Dash, G4 Dash is more annoyed than anything else). Pinkie Pie would continue to be Pinkie (both Gen Pinkies that is), and so on and so forth. And once the last round of the tournament is over and done with, then comes the bonus GUY round. (laughs evilly). Also, me thinks Bright Eyes would have some very choice words about Twilights more... eccentric moments and field of study.

16. 08 O8 DB What. Sequel of sorts? Again, nervousited, though a bit more on the 'nervous' side for this one than the sumo tournament or the threesome one. I'd of course give it a read, but wow. You're creative, my friend. Any other interests I should acquaintance myself with before you think of something with them?" Yup, Diaperism is indeed a thing, mind you I'd have to do some 'research' before hand to get all the details right.

19. I just go with separate dimensions, having them all part of the same world/timeline just seems so... contrived. Shrinks the world ya know?

Incidentally, I now have access to Gary's Mod, now if only I could find someone to make dolls of the Mane Seven. Oh the things I would do with my inflation gun.... (http://sonic5421.deviantart.com/art/What-happened-to-Cadence-442128535 sonic5421.deviantart.com/art/What-happened-to-Cadence-442128535 sonic5421.deviantart.com/art/Bloating-Egos-397715986 runs away laughing evilly at Notes' pain)

[Notes]

14. Which story particularly? The only fandom you've written for on there that I'm familiar with is Pokemon.

7. Good thing I don't have dreams, then, bobdude...

8. I suppose the huggable point stands, even though she was pretty darn huggable before the weight gain. I think Starlight and Bon Bon could not exceed how perfectly-sized they are to hug, or become smaller. 8.

12. Okey dokey. 8n (What AM I supposed to say to that?)

16. I was fully aware that people thought that way before, but... what. 8o

19. What. The. Heck?! (Haha, got ya. I checked out the huge brown button on your Tumblr following page and ended up on Blimpy Babs. My shock is over with! lB) Nice try, though you'll have to do better than that.

[bobdude]

14. "Which story particularly? The only fandom you've written for on there that I'm familiar with is Pokemon." This one www.fanfiction.net/s/9849639/1/For-want-of-a-Ribbon-The-25th-World-Tournament Though i'm interested to here what you thought of Sumo Nurse Joy and Sumo Officer Jenny.

7. "Good thing I don't have dreams, then, bobdude..." Ask and you shall receive....

8. I suppose the huggable point stands, even though she was pretty darn huggable before the weight gain. I think Starlight and Bon Bon could not exceed how perfectly-sized they are to hug, or become smaller. 8." Yes, but now she's even MOAR huggable, and squish, like a giant pony bed of fat. ^^

12. Okey dokey. 8n (What AM I supposed to say to that?)" Kumquat, duh.

16. I was fully aware that people thought that way before, but... what. 8o" Eh, one of those sort of 'relaxing, takes away responsibility and stresses of adult life' sort of deal. Never done it myself but I'd be lying if I couldn't see the appeal (that and I think diapers are the cutes, so there)

19. What. The. Heck?! (Haha, got ya. I checked out the huge brown button on your Tumblr following page and ended up on Blimpy Babs. My shock is over with! lB) Nice try, though you'll have to do better than that." VERY WELL THEN, HAVE AT YE! derpibooru.org/578574?scope=scpeb8c429bdf8a7cffa027a181828669c687e347a26 derpibooru.org/607067?scope=scpeb8c429bdf8a7cffa027a181828669c687e347a26 derpibooru.org/591415?scope=scpeb8c429bdf8a7cffa027a181828669c687e347a26

FEAR THE SQUISH FAT PONI NOTES, FEAR IT!

[Notes]

14. I figured as much. I'll get around to it, but I haven't seen DragonBall Z. And eventually I'll get around to seeing the Jenny and Joy story.

7. What is THAT supposed to mean? l8<

8. If you say so. 8. *tries hugging grumpy, mud-covered, fat Applejack*

12. "I call this one SQUIRT BOBDUDE WITH THE HOSE!" (I hope Lancer doesn't get mad at me...)

16. I guess...

19. Wow, the fatness is pretty crazy. I would have been offended... if I hadn't already seen the Tales porn on there. *smirk* But the squishing you describe does sound pretty scary...

[bobdude]

I. Have. FINISHED! The edits and so forth that is. Thanks for you're help Notes!

[Notes]

Anytime, bobdude! It was time-consuming but fun, to be certain. 8) Will the edited version be on your DeviantArt?

[bobdude]

(hadn't even thought of it): Yes, yes it will.

[Notes]

Okey dokey!

[bobdude]

And now it is the ups bob-dude.deviantart.com/art/Bons-between-the-Stars-453082164

[Notes]

I shall read this!